wondering...

I always wondered

if everyone cries,

why doesn't it all get better.

I always wondered

how long I hold my breath,

or can time in a moment cease to count?

I always dreamed

of places so familiar,

I tricked myself into believing they exist.

I always dreamed

of people living their own lives,

not feeding off of others.

I always hoped

the world would feel better,

and the struggle wouldn't feel so damn hard.

I always hoped,

but I guess the world is just meant

to be speculation in a life of dreams.